• Map OF Numbness Bar

    Idealizing the strong numb hero has possibly exterminated the human race.

  • Beliefs About Feelings

    A New Decision

    The present conditions of environmental degradation, mass extinction of species, global warming beyond critical tipping points, greedy consumption of nonrenewable resources, economic injustices, overpopulation, weapons of mass destruction, and the general failure of seemingly intelligent human beings to create a sustainable future for ourselves on this garden planet are all consequences of revering numbness.


    Personally choosing numbness may have been unconscious for you. Perhaps you patterned yourself on the numbness of modern culture, taking on machine-like qualities of being fast, hard and impersonal. Perhaps you obediently followed in your father’s or mother’s footsteps by adopting the level of numbness handed down from generation to generation in your family’s tradition.
    Either way, the massively-multiplayer online and offline personal development game StartOver.xyz confronts you with making the choice to consciously continue your old behaviors or practice new ones. Either you will tighten your internal restraints and stay numb, or you will break the chain around your heart and simply allow yourself to feel.


    At any moment your new decision may prevail.


    If deep sobs of grief over lost years of feeling erupt from your heart and convulse your lungs and chest for hours or days while reading this book, do not worry. That is okay. Nothing is wrong with you. You are coming back to life.


    Deep grief over missed opportunities and loneliness long endured is the healing path toward a more humane future. Seen in this light, your sadness equates to a celebration. Intimacy is still possible for you. Your heart is not dead. The remainder of your life can be filled with inner sensations of belongingness that no one can take away from you ever again.


    Your feelings are fine. Having your feelings back is so simple. Yet, like a sudden down-pouring of rain after a long drought, the new experiences may change everything. Nothing can prepare you for the awesome abundance when green shoots sprout miraculously out of dry desert sands.

    Feelings Come Knocking

    Some of us are forced to learn about feelings by unwanted side effects from years and years of numbness. We may suffer:

    • rashes
    • nail biting
    • hair plucking
    • skin picking
    • depression
    • overeating
    • burnout
    • anxiety
    • hypertension
    • drinking
    • shame
    • drug taking
    • adaptive behavior
    • confusion
    • insomnia,
    • indigestion
    • intestinal problems
    • frustration
    • hopelessness
    • headaches
    • asthma
    • nervous twitches
    • fatigue
    • listlessness
    • lack of financial success
    • family stress
    • failed relationships
    • sexual dysfunction
    • infertility
    • despair
    • oversleeping
    • back pain
    • accidents
    • self-injury
    • angina
    • bulimia
    • anorexia
    • attempted suicide

    Even such conditions as bipolar, borderline, schizophrenia, multiple sclerosis, Graves’ disease, and Parkinson’s disease are suspected of being related to unexpressed feelings.

    Some of us are driven to investigate feelings after years of being subject to

    • hysteria
    • aggression
    • shouting
    • violence
    • rage
    • destructive temper tantrums
    • claustrophobia
    • paralysis
    • sentimentality
    • a gambling or shopping addiction,
    • lying
    • speeding
    • theft
    • corruption
    • engaging in intrigue
    • mobbing
    • indiscriminate sex
    • betraying or being betrayed. 

    Ignoring such expressions does not make them go away. On the contrary, denial only intensifies their destructive impact on our lives. For example, a brilliant and successful professional consultant friend of mine recently found himself arrested and in jail because he was caught walking out of a bookshop with an unpurchased book in his pocket. He was completely flabbergasted by his own behavior! He had no explanation.


    Perhaps the question of feelings has come knocking more surreptitiously. Are you alone? Divorced? Has a loved one complained that he or she just can’t get through to you? That you don’t listen? That you’re not open to intimacy? Do they say they don’t really know who you are?
    Perhaps your children are distant, keeping themselves away from you.
    Perhaps intimacy disturbs something deep within you rather than being genuinely satisfying.

    Perhaps you feel disconnected from the human race, isolated in your own separate world.

  • Consequences of Numbness

    Conspiracy Against Feelings

    We have been well instructed to stay numb. In modern society, the worst names you can be called are Yellow! Chicken! Scaredy Cat! We learned at a young age that it is disgraceful to feel. The man or woman who wins in business, politics, war, or sports is the last man standing, the strong numb hero.


    Each generation finds a way to bury the pain of sending their own children into war to do the dirty work of the ruling classes. Specialized numbing techniques have become familiar features of today’s society. We were sent to school to study numbing topics. We brought home numbing homework, preparing us to work long hours at numbing jobs with a numbing commute and constantly droning numbing news. We work for money to shop for things we don’t need, to buy drugs and entertainment that seduce our attention and deaden the horrifying recognition of modern empire’s proudest success: globalization.


    Corporate-controlled international financial institutions encourage businessmen to invade, subvert and globalize forty thousand years of diverse human cultures around the world using any means available. By reducing cultures to Disneyfied caricatures, local customs and traditions are disempowered and replaced by mass-produced brands sold at franchised shops to make ever-increasing profits. No mechanism exists to monitor or stop the manufacturers of monoculture, not even the United Nations. The globalization steamroller has gone berserk. Being numb, we blindly participate.


    MUST-SEE: Learning from Ladakh by Helena Norberg-Hodge (MOVIE250.00​) and Schooling The World by Carol Black (MOVIE270.00​).


    Unbridled empire will dig up and burn everything on Earth because there is only one goal of a corporation: profit. The plan is being meticulously executed as you read these words. In many ways you are an accomplice. Me too. The plan has one suicidal fault. It ignores the fact that we live on a planet. A planet has limited resources. Those limits are being reached.

    Like metastasized cancer, the paradigm of empire is killing its host. Having come full circle around the globe, modern empire finds no more societies to enslave, no more resources to plunder. The world’s oil production curve goes downhill from here while the ravaged planet suffocates in toxic wastes, rapidly becoming inhospitable to the human species.


    Collective numbness permits us to degrade the only spaceship that can support human life in this part of the galaxy. More easily than most people realize, Earth could become frozen and airless like Mars, or more likely, blanketed in superheated poisonous gases through a runaway greenhouse effect like Venus.

  • Map of Numbness vs. Feelings

  • Numbness toward the consequences of our individual actions may self-exterminate Homo sapiens.

    Modern civilization has arranged its own demise.

  • Numbness Bar Experiments

    Read The Aquarian Conspiracy

    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.01

    The Aquarian Conspiracy (BOOK0104.00) by Marilyn Ferguson.

    "We have no enemy except ourselves and the mess we’ve made individually and collectively by refusing to look at what we’re doing to our bodies, our minds, our society, and the earth itself. We’ve been seduced by the cult of numbers, caught in a web of mindless materialism, obsessed with competition, with winning and losing, afraid of anything that can’t be seen or measured, and in the grip of an economic model where only that which generates more money is worth pursuing.”

    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.02

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  • NOTE: This website is a Bubble in the Bubble Map of the free-to-play, massively-multiplayer, online-and-offline, thoughtware-upgrade, matrix-building, personal-transformation, adventure-game called StartOver.xyz. It is a doorway to experiments that upgrade your thoughtware so you can relocate your point of origin and create more possibility. Your knowledge is what you think about. Your thoughtware is what you use to think with. When you change your thoughtware, you go through a liquid state as your mind reorganizes itself. Liquid states can bring up transformational feelings and emotions. By upgrading your thoughtware you build matrix to hold more consciousness and leave behind a low drama life of reactivity. No one can upgrade your thoughtware for you. More interestingly, no one can stop you from upgrading your thoughtware. Our theory is that when we collectively build 1,000,000 new Matrix Points we will change the morphogenetic field of the human race for the better. Please choose responsibly to read this website. Reading this whole website is worth 1 Matrix Point. Doing any of the experiments earns you additional Matrix Points. Please use Matrix Code NUMBNESS.00 to log your Matrix Point for reading this website on StartOver.xyz. Thank you for playing full out!