• Map OF Numbness Bar

    Idealizing the strong numb hero has possibly exterminated the human race.

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  • Beliefs About Feelings

    A New Decision

    The present conditions of environmental degradation, mass extinction of species, global warming beyond critical tipping points, greedy consumption of nonrenewable resources, economic injustices, overpopulation, weapons of mass destruction, and the general failure of seemingly intelligent human beings to create a sustainable future for ourselves on this garden planet are all consequences of revering numbness.


    Personally choosing numbness may have been unconscious for you. Perhaps you patterned yourself on the numbness of modern culture, taking on machine-like qualities of being fast, hard and impersonal. Perhaps you obediently followed in your father’s or mother’s footsteps by adopting the level of numbness handed down from generation to generation in your family’s tradition.
    Either way, the massively-multiplayer online and offline personal development game StartOver.xyz confronts you with making the choice to consciously continue your old behaviors or practice new ones. Either you will tighten your internal restraints and stay numb, or you will break the chain around your heart and simply allow yourself to feel.


    At any moment your new decision may prevail.


    If deep sobs of grief over lost years of feeling erupt from your heart and convulse your lungs and chest for hours or days while reading this website and doing the experiments, do not worry. That is okay. Nothing is wrong with you. You are coming back to life.


    Deep grief over missed opportunities and loneliness long endured is the healing path toward a more humane future. Seen in this light, your sadness equates to a celebration. Intimacy is still possible for you. Your heart is not dead. The remainder of your life can be filled with inner sensations of belongingness that no one can take away from you ever again.


    Your feelings are fine. Having your feelings back is so simple. Yet, like a sudden down-pouring of rain after a long drought, the new experiences may change everything. Nothing can prepare you for the awesome abundance when green shoots sprout miraculously out of dry desert sands.

    Feelings Come Knocking

    Some of us are forced to learn about feelings by unwanted side effects from years and years of numbness. We may suffer:

    • rashes
    • nail biting
    • hair plucking
    • skin picking
    • depression
    • overeating
    • burnout
    • anxiety
    • hypertension
    • drinking
    • shame
    • drug taking
    • adaptive behavior
    • confusion
    • insomnia
    • indigestion
    • intestinal problems
    • frustration
    • hopelessness
    • headaches
    • asthma
    • nervous twitches
    • fatigue
    • listlessness
    • lack of financial success
    • family stress
    • failed relationships
    • sexual dysfunction
    • infertility
    • despair
    • oversleeping
    • back pain
    • accidents
    • self-injury
    • angina
    • bulimia
    • anorexia
    • attempted suicide

    Even such conditions as bipolar, borderline, schizophrenia, multiple sclerosis, Graves’ disease, and Parkinson’s disease are suspected of being related to unexpressed feelings. Some of us are driven to investigate feelings after years of being subject to:

    • hysteria
    • aggression
    • shouting
    • violence
    • rage
    • destructive temper tantrums
    • claustrophobia
    • paralysis
    • sentimentality
    • a gambling or shopping addiction
    • lying
    • speeding
    • theft
    • corruption
    • engaging in intrigue
    • mobbing
    • indiscriminate sex
    • betraying or being betrayed. 

    Ignoring such expressions does not make them go away. On the contrary, denial only intensifies their destructive impact on our lives. For example, a brilliant and successful professional consultant friend of mine found himself arrested and in jail because he was caught walking out of a bookshop with an unpurchased book in his pocket. He was completely flabbergasted by his own behavior! He had no explanation.


    Perhaps the question of feelings has come knocking more surreptitiously. Are you alone? Divorced? Has a loved one complained that he or she just can’t get through to you? That you don’t listen? That you’re not open to intimacy? Do they say they don’t really know who you are?
    Perhaps your children are distant, keeping themselves away from you.
    Perhaps intimacy disturbs something deep within you rather than being genuinely satisfying.

    Perhaps you feel disconnected from the human race, isolated in your own separate world.

  • Consequences of Numbness

    Conspiracy Against Feelings

    We have been well instructed to stay numb. In modern society, the worst names you can be called are Yellow! Chicken! Scaredy Cat! We learned at a young age that it is disgraceful to feel. The man or woman who wins in business, politics, war, or sports is the last man standing, the strong numb hero.


    Each generation finds a way to bury the pain of sending their own children into war to do the dirty work of the ruling classes. Specialized numbing techniques have become familiar features of today’s society. We were sent to school to study numbing topics. We brought home numbing homework, preparing us to work long hours at numbing jobs with a numbing commute and constantly droning numbing news. We work for money to shop for things we don’t need, to buy drugs and entertainment that seduce our attention and deaden the horrifying recognition of modern empire’s proudest success: globalization.


    Corporate-controlled international financial institutions encourage businessmen to invade, subvert and globalize forty thousand years of diverse human cultures around the world using any means available. By reducing cultures to Disneyfied caricatures, local customs and traditions are disempowered and replaced by mass-produced brands sold at franchised shops to make ever-increasing profits. No mechanism exists to monitor or stop the manufacturers of monoculture, not even the United Nations. The globalization steamroller has gone berserk. Being numb, we blindly participate.


    MUST-SEE: Learning from Ladakh by Helena Norberg-Hodge (MOVIE250.00​) and Schooling The World by Carol Black (MOVIE270.00​).


    Unbridled empire will dig up and burn everything on Earth because there is only one goal of a corporation: profit. The plan is being meticulously executed as you read these words. In many ways you are an accomplice. Me too. The plan has one suicidal fault. It ignores the fact that we live on a planet. A planet has limited resources. Those limits are being reached.

    Like metastasized cancer, the paradigm of empire is killing its host. Having come full circle around the globe, modern empire finds no more societies to enslave, no more resources to plunder. The world’s oil production curve goes downhill from here while the ravaged planet suffocates in toxic wastes, rapidly becoming inhospitable to the human species.


    Collective numbness permits us to degrade the only spaceship that can support human life in this part of the galaxy. More easily than most people realize, Earth could become frozen and airless like Mars, or more likely, blanketed in superheated poisonous gases through a runaway greenhouse effect like Venus.

  • Map of Numbness vs. Feelings

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  • Numbness toward the consequences of our individual actions may self-exterminate Homo sapiens.

    Modern civilization has arranged its own demise.

  • Numbness Bar Experiments

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    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.01

    You might have just found out you have Feelings about everything, all the time. You might have just found out that you have a Numbness Bar. You might have known about this for a while. Either way, Observing yourself and how you block feeling is the first step to lowering your Numbness Bar.


    For 3 full days, live with the question: "In what ways am I blocking my feelings about what is happening NOW?". For example, you smile to avoid feeling your anger, or play with your beard to avoid feeling the fear, etc...This experiment is about Noticing. It is not about changing anything.


    Set a timer to go off every hour to remind you to ask this question. Put up sticky notes in your bathroom, kitchen, on the doors, on your computer screen. Wear something special as a reminder.


    Every day, for at least 15 minutes, write in your Beep! Book about what you discover.


    After completing this experiment, please register Matrix Code NUMBNESS.01 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

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    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.02

    Noticing what other people are feeling gives clues about what you are not feeling.


    For three days, live with the question, "What do other people feel about this incident that I am not feeling?"


    If you need to, use the reminders from the previous experiment.


    At least twice a day for 15 minutes, write about what you observed, about what 4 feelings people around you were having that were different from the feelings (or numbness) you were experiencing.


    After three days, please register Matrix Code NUMBNESS.02 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

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    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.03

    Observing the level at which you typically hold your Numbness Bar may require the assistance of other people. You can ask for feedback from friends, relatives, or colleagues at work for this experiment, or from your Possibility Team.


    Over a period of weeks or months, ask a variety of people the following questions, and write down their responses.


    1. Tell me from 0 - 100% how high you think I keep my Numbness Bar.

    2. Explain in detail exactly how I keep my Numbness Bar at that level, and why I keep it there.


    Before you ask them, make sure you have your Center, Grounding Cord and Bubble so that you have a better chance at not becoming Hooked by what they say. We call this First Position.


    Trust the feedback they give you, even if you don't understand it, even if you think they are wrong.


    When you have asked 10 people, and written down what they told you, please register Matrix Code NUMBNESS.03 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

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    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.04

    Go on a slow walk with a friend, 1/3 the normal speed. As soon as you step out of the house you're on a walk.

    For 1 hour perceive things with full Attention.

    For example, there's a bubble gum on the side of the sidewalk. One person lowers their numbness bar: feeling sad that someone had to spit it out and angry that they didn't clean up their mess.

    Next person lowers the numbness bar about the shape of the cloud in the sky: The wonderful joy of laying down and observing the clouds in the sky.

    If your numbness bar gets higher than the broken leg pigeon pecking at the little things, lower it. Or a car zoomed by really fast, lower the numbness bar that comes up from the fear.


    Go on a 5-bodies numbness bar lowering walk once a week for a whole month.


    After doing this Experiment, please register Matrix Code NUMBNESS.04 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

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    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.05

    For the next 2 days, Observe what are your numbing strategies.


    How do you numb yourself? What mechanisms do you use? For example, spending too much time on the screen, social media, daydreaming, being angry to numb your fear, complaining, exhausting your physical body going on 3 hour walks. Notice the more subtle ways: something is happening and you stand up and go walk to the fridge even for one minute and then you come back.


    Keep track of them and write them down in your Beep! Book. This is Gremlin food as a way of protecting yourself.

    Warning: If you try to stop them all at once, you will have a Gremlin backlash and he will try to protect your life. He will take over your life. This is simply about Noticing, and knowing every dimension of what you are numbing.


    After doing this Experiment, please register Matrix Code NUMBNESS.05 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

    Go Explore, www.possibilitymanagement.org


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.06

    Write a list of 5 movies you remember that when you watched them, in which things happened that moved you, you felt something.


    Warning: Choose films that do not leave shocking energetic scars on your Being. Certain producers are more interested in inserting scenes that are unforgettable because they leave scars of shock and horror in your energetic body, that cannot be removed, and the experience that causes the scars in you destroys your matrix. That is why you remember it and can still feel it. Your matrix is destroyed, so you become more dumb and less conscious. (NOTE: Some of the films on the Possibility Films website may be intense, but none leave scars.)


    Choose one of the 5 movies to watch.

    Before you watch the film, tell anyone in hearing that you are doing an experiment and might get loud and you are okay. Then, get your Center, Grounding Cord and Bubble and lower your numbness bar. Watch the movie while also splitting some of your Attention to watch your numbness bar. Notice when it comes up and keep lowering it, feel as intensely as possible, take all the Time you need for this experiment:

    • Pause the movie to let your feelings get bigger.
    • Say "I feel (angry, sad, scared, glad) because __________," out loud to the different characters, for example, that they should say or do, or not say or not do certain things.
    • Rewind and replay scenes if they go by too quickly so you have time to feel and express everything you feel about it.
    • Twist a towel and yell to help stop your Numbness Bar from going back up. 
    • Pause the film and write down any patterns you notice in yourself, for example, if there is a strong emotion that could be the Doorway to an Emotional Healing Process for you.

    After the movie be still and silent while you feel its effects in you. You might want to arrange to have a Holding after the movie to nourish and reset your nervous system.


    After doing this Experiment, please register Matrix Code NUMBNESS.06 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.



    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.07

    If you are a woman, this experiment is about your mother. If you are a man, it will be your father.


    Ask somebody from your Possibility Team to interview you and video record it. This is a 1 hour, in-depth, concise, fierce interview about your mother or father and about their numbness.

    Talk about the way they numb their 5-bodies. Talk about the nature and purpose behind their numbness. Talk about anything and everything they are numb to. For example, how your father was numb about his lack of connection to his own Destiny, to the aftereffects of his lifestyle on the planet, to the lack of aliveness in relationship to his wife, to how much his three sons were fighting each other to get negative attention.


    Publish the video recording of the interview as it is on Youtube. You are then ready to do the next experiment.


    After doing this Experiment and publishing the interview online, please enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.07 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

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    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.08

    Please do the previous experiment before moving on to this one.


    The point of this experiment is to assume that you are doing the same thing that your parents are doing, and use the discoveries from your parents' numbness to make a prescription.


    Shift into 'Numbness Healer' and write down a prescription specific to every condition that you got from your parents. For example, for the condition of a father being numb to the lack of aliveness in his relationship, you can put him on a tropical island for three weeks with no distractions. Ask your Possibility Team to help you find prescriptions.


    After doing this Experiment, please register Matrix Code NUMBNESS.08 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

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    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.09

    Go somewhere where there are people in like a park, sit down and watch the scene in front of you while you're lowering your numbness bar. Notice what happens, when you bring it up, bring it down.

    After an hour, write down in your beep book what you notice.

    Find someone who wants to practice giving completion loops. Tell them what you learned about the consequences of having a high numbness bar and how you feel about that.

    Tell them to give you completion loops while you observe your numbness bar and consciously intend for it to go down further.


    After doing this Experiment, please register Matrix Code NUMBNESS.09 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

    Being With Logo 300x300 by AnneChloe Destremau www.StartOver.xyz.jpg


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.10

    You need your Conscious Anger to stay Centered in all of your 5-bodies, to hold space for your other Feelings and to keep your numbness bar low.


    Visit the TeamUp Calendar and register to the next Introduction to Rage Club and start your journey into Conscious Anger. 


    After finishing your first Introduction to Rage Club, please register Matrix Code NUMBNESS.10 in your free account at StartOver.xyz, and then join a full 4-week Rage Club series.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

    Aquarian Conspiracy by Marilyn Ferguson, Logo by Possibility Management


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.11

    The Aquarian Conspiracy (BOOK0104.00) by Marilyn Ferguson.


    "We have no enemy except ourselves and the mess we’ve made individually and collectively by refusing to look at what we’re doing to our bodies, our minds, our society, and the earth itself. We’ve been seduced by the cult of numbers, caught in a web of mindless materialism, obsessed with competition, with winning and losing, afraid of anything that can’t be seen or measured, and in the grip of an economic model where only that which generates more money is worth pursuing.”


    After reading this book, please register Matrix Code NUMBNESS.11 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 3 Matrix Points.

    Become Time Logo 300x300 by AnneChloe Destremau www.possibilitymanagement.org.jpg


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.11

    When we tend to reduce the things we do as means to an end, we do them quickly and unconsciously, simply 'accomplishing' the process and not really experiencing it. The point of this experiment is to notice how your 'speed' in life affects your numbness bar.


    For one week, everyday during 30 minutes, change the speed of how you do things. How you put on your clothes, how you have your meal, how you drive, how you walk and talk, etc...


    • Speed up your speed as a way of increasing your numbness bar. 

    Go into Whizz Bang mode while putting your clothes on. Observe how you are not even with the experience of putting on your clothes and you are numb to it. During lunch, you are done all of a sudden and you do not remember what you ate. While washing your hands, you did not sense the temperature of the water and its effects on you.

    • Slow down how quickly time passes as a way of decreasing your numbness bar. 

    While eating an apple, instead of accomplishing the task, Experience the apple, every single little bite, smell it, let it drip, let it take a long time to get through the apple. While slicing an onion, use the knife in slowmotion. While ordering a pizza, talk super slow.


    Notice the numbness from jumping over things and the aliveness from slowing things down.


    After doing this Experiment, please enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.11 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

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    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.12

    Do this experiment in groups of 3 during your next Possibility Team meeting.


    Click your Clicker and go back in time 50 years. For 15 minutes, write down what people were numb to back then. What were they numb to that now the whole culture has lowered their numbness bar to?


    Click your Clicker and go forward in time 50 years. For 30 minutes, research what we are numb to that in 50 years they will think it is insane that we were numb to this. Write a short story about it.


    After doing this Experiment and writing your short story, please enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.12 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

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    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.13

    This experiment is about being yourself. This is different from being with yourself, because then you are splitting yourself to be with yourself. This is simply and profoundly being.

    Each day for the next two weeks, spend 15 minutes with absolutely no distractions, being each second more and more intensely being your own Being. Do not get distracted by thoughts, plans, pains, fantasy worlds, needs or discomforts. Simply increase your endurance with being your Being.


    After doing this Experiment, please enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.13 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

    Being With Logo 300x300 by AnneChloe Destremau www.StartOver.xyz.jpg


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.14

    Each day for the next two weeks, spend 15 minutes with absolutely no distraction with another Being, each second being more and more intensely being with each other's Being.


    Do not let yourself get distracted by thoughts, plans, pains, fantasy worlds, needs or discomforts. Simply increase your endurance with being with another Being.


    After doing this Experiment, please enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.14 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

  • NOTE: This website is a Bubble in the Bubble Map of the free-to-play, massively-multiplayer, online-and-offline, thoughtware-upgrade, matrix-building, personal-transformation, adventure-game called StartOver.xyz. It is a doorway to experiments that upgrade your thoughtware so you can relocate your point of origin and create more possibility. Your knowledge is what you think about. Your thoughtware is what you use to think with. When you change your thoughtware, you go through a liquid state as your mind reorganizes itself. Liquid states can bring up transformational feelings and emotions. By upgrading your thoughtware you build matrix to hold more consciousness and leave behind a low drama life of reactivity. No one can upgrade your thoughtware for you. More interestingly, no one can stop you from upgrading your thoughtware. Our theory is that when we collectively build 1,000,000 new Matrix Points we will change the morphogenetic field of the human race for the better. Please choose responsibly to read this website. Reading this whole website is worth 1 Matrix Point. Doing any of the experiments earns you additional Matrix Points. Please use Matrix Code NUMBNESS.00 to log your Matrix Point for reading this website on StartOver.xyz. Thank you for playing full out!