• Map OF Numbness Bar

    Idealizing the strong numb hero has possibly exterminated the human race.

  • Beliefs About Feelings

    A New Decision

    The present conditions of environmental degradation, mass extinction of species, global warming beyond critical tipping points, greedy consumption of nonrenewable resources, economic injustices, overpopulation, weapons of mass destruction, and the general failure of seemingly intelligent human beings to create a sustainable future for ourselves on this garden planet are all consequences of revering numbness.


    Personally choosing numbness may have been unconscious for you. Perhaps you patterned yourself on the numbness of modern culture, taking on machine-like qualities of being fast, hard and impersonal. Perhaps you obediently followed in your father’s or mother’s footsteps by adopting the level of numbness handed down from generation to generation in your family’s tradition.
    Either way, the massively-multiplayer online and offline personal development game StartOver.xyz confronts you with making the choice to consciously continue your old behaviors or practice new ones. Either you will tighten your internal restraints and stay numb, or you will break the chain around your heart and simply allow yourself to feel.


    At any moment your new decision may prevail.


    If deep sobs of grief over lost years of feeling erupt from your heart and convulse your lungs and chest for hours or days while reading this book, do not worry. That is okay. Nothing is wrong with you. You are coming back to life.


    Deep grief over missed opportunities and loneliness long endured is the healing path toward a more humane future. Seen in this light, your sadness equates to a celebration. Intimacy is still possible for you. Your heart is not dead. The remainder of your life can be filled with inner sensations of belongingness that no one can take away from you ever again.


    Your feelings are fine. Having your feelings back is so simple. Yet, like a sudden down-pouring of rain after a long drought, the new experiences may change everything. Nothing can prepare you for the awesome abundance when green shoots sprout miraculously out of dry desert sands.

    Feelings Come Knocking

    Some of us are forced to learn about feelings by unwanted side effects from years and years of numbness. We may suffer:

    • rashes
    • nail biting
    • hair plucking
    • skin picking
    • depression
    • overeating
    • burnout
    • anxiety
    • hypertension
    • drinking
    • shame
    • drug taking
    • adaptive behavior
    • confusion
    • insomnia,
    • indigestion
    • intestinal problems
    • frustration
    • hopelessness
    • headaches
    • asthma
    • nervous twitches
    • fatigue
    • listlessness
    • lack of financial success
    • family stress
    • failed relationships
    • sexual dysfunction
    • infertility
    • despair
    • oversleeping
    • back pain
    • accidents
    • self-injury
    • angina
    • bulimia
    • anorexia
    • attempted suicide

    Even such conditions as bipolar, borderline, schizophrenia, multiple sclerosis, Graves’ disease, and Parkinson’s disease are suspected of being related to unexpressed feelings.

    Some of us are driven to investigate feelings after years of being subject to

    • hysteria
    • aggression
    • shouting
    • violence
    • rage
    • destructive temper tantrums
    • claustrophobia
    • paralysis
    • sentimentality
    • a gambling or shopping addiction,
    • lying
    • speeding
    • theft
    • corruption
    • engaging in intrigue
    • mobbing
    • indiscriminate sex
    • betraying or being betrayed. 

    Ignoring such expressions does not make them go away. On the contrary, denial only intensifies their destructive impact on our lives. For example, a brilliant and successful professional consultant friend of mine recently found himself arrested and in jail because he was caught walking out of a bookshop with an unpurchased book in his pocket. He was completely flabbergasted by his own behavior! He had no explanation.


    Perhaps the question of feelings has come knocking more surreptitiously. Are you alone? Divorced? Has a loved one complained that he or she just can’t get through to you? That you don’t listen? That you’re not open to intimacy? Do they say they don’t really know who you are?
    Perhaps your children are distant, keeping themselves away from you.
    Perhaps intimacy disturbs something deep within you rather than being genuinely satisfying.

    Perhaps you feel disconnected from the human race, isolated in your own separate world.

  • Consequences of Numbness

    Conspiracy Against Feelings

    We have been well instructed to stay numb. In modern society, the worst names you can be called are Yellow! Chicken! Scaredy Cat! We learned at a young age that it is disgraceful to feel. The man or woman who wins in business, politics, war, or sports is the last man standing, the strong numb hero.


    Each generation finds a way to bury the pain of sending their own children into war to do the dirty work of the ruling classes. Specialized numbing techniques have become familiar features of today’s society. We were sent to school to study numbing topics. We brought home numbing homework, preparing us to work long hours at numbing jobs with a numbing commute and constantly droning numbing news. We work for money to shop for things we don’t need, to buy drugs and entertainment that seduce our attention and deaden the horrifying recognition of modern empire’s proudest success: globalization.


    Corporate-controlled international financial institutions encourage businessmen to invade, subvert and globalize forty thousand years of diverse human cultures around the world using any means available. By reducing cultures to Disneyfied caricatures, local customs and traditions are disempowered and replaced by mass-produced brands sold at franchised shops to make ever-increasing profits. No mechanism exists to monitor or stop the manufacturers of monoculture, not even the United Nations. The globalization steamroller has gone berserk. Being numb, we blindly participate.


    MUST-SEE: Learning from Ladakh by Helena Norberg-Hodge (MOVIE250.00​) and Schooling The World by Carol Black (MOVIE270.00​).


    Unbridled empire will dig up and burn everything on Earth because there is only one goal of a corporation: profit. The plan is being meticulously executed as you read these words. In many ways you are an accomplice. Me too. The plan has one suicidal fault. It ignores the fact that we live on a planet. A planet has limited resources. Those limits are being reached.

    Like metastasized cancer, the paradigm of empire is killing its host. Having come full circle around the globe, modern empire finds no more societies to enslave, no more resources to plunder. The world’s oil production curve goes downhill from here while the ravaged planet suffocates in toxic wastes, rapidly becoming inhospitable to the human species.


    Collective numbness permits us to degrade the only spaceship that can support human life in this part of the galaxy. More easily than most people realize, Earth could become frozen and airless like Mars, or more likely, blanketed in superheated poisonous gases through a runaway greenhouse effect like Venus.

  • Map of Numbness vs. Feelings

  • Numbness toward the consequences of our individual actions may self-exterminate Homo sapiens.

    Modern civilization has arranged its own demise.

  • Numbness Bar Experiments


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.01

    You might have just found out that you have a Numbness Bar. You might have known about this for a while. Either way, observing your self and how you block feeling is the first step to lowering your Numbness Bar.


    This experiment is about noticing. It is not about changing anything.


    For three full days, live with the question, "In what ways am I blocking my feelings about what is happening NOW?"


    Set a timer to go off every hour, to remind you to ask this questions. Put up sticky notes in your bathroom, kitchen, on the doors, on your computer screen.


    Every day, for at least 15 minutes, write in your Beep! Book about what you discover. Then enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.01 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.02

    Observing the level at which you typically hold your Numbness Bar may require the assistance of other people. You can ask for feedback from friends, relatives, or colleagues at work for this experiment.


    Over a period of weeks or months, as a variety of people the following questions, and write down their responses.


    1. Tell me from 0 - 100% how high you think I keep my Numbness Bar.

    2. Explain in detail exactly how I keep my Numbness Bar at that level, and why I keep it there.


    Before you ask them, make sure you have your Center, Grounding Cord and Bubble so that you have a better chance at not becoming hooked by what they say. We call this First Position.


    Trust the feedback they give you, even if you don't understand it, even if you think they are wrong.


    When you have asked 10 people, and written down what they told you, enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.02 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.03

    Noticing what other people are feeling gives clues about what you are not feeling.


    For three days, live with the question, "What do other people feel about this incident that I am not feeling?"


    If you need to, use the reminders n the previous experiment.


    At least twice a day for at least 15 minutes, write about what you observed, about what four feelings people around you were having that were different from the feelings (or numbness) you were experiencing.


    After three days, enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.03 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

    Noticing Logo 300x300 framed www.possibilitymanagement.org.jpg


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.04

    Walk with a friend, walk slowly, 1/3 the normal speed. As soon as you steop out of the house you're on a walk. For one hour. Perceive things: the bubble gum stopped on the side of the sidewalk. One person lowers their numbness bar. Bubble gum, sad that someone had to spit it out, angry that they didn't clean up your mess.

    If it gets higher than the

    Broken leg pigeon, pecking at the little things, lowers numbness bar.

    Car zoomed by really fast, lower the numbness bar that comes up from the fear.

    Next person loswer the numbness bar about the shape of the cloud in the sky. The happiness of the wonderful person that gets to lay in the sky as a cloud.

    5-body numbness bar lowring walk for once a week for a whole month.


    After doing this Experiment, please enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.04 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

    Radical Honesty Logo 300x300 by Brad Blanton www.radicalhonesty.com.jpg


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.05

    Your numbness mechanism. Your numbness strategies.

    For 2 days, observe what are your numbing strategies? How do you numb yourself? Too much time on the screen, social media, daydreaming, being angry to numb yourself to fear, complaining, exhausting your physical body going on 3hour walks.

    Notice the more subtle ways... Something is happening and you stand up and go walk to the fridge even for one minute and then you come back. Keep track of them and write them down. this is Gremlin food as a way of protecting yourself. If you try to stop them all at once, you will have a Gremlin backlash and he will try to protect your life. He will take over your life.

    This is about noticing, and knowing every dimension of what you are numbing.


    After doing this Experiment, please enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.05 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

    Go Explore, www.possibilitymanagement.org


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.06

    Write a list of 5 movies you remember that when you watched them, in which things happened that moved you, where you felt something. Choose one of these film that does not leave shocking energetic scars on your Being. (NOTE: Some of the films in the Go Explore website may be intense, but none leave scars.)

    Choose one of the films to watch.

    Before you watch the film, tell anyone in hearing that you are doing an experiment and might get loud and you are okay. Then, get your center, grounding cord and bubble and lower your numbness bar. Watch the movie while also splitting some of your attention to watch your numbness bar. Watch for if it comes up and keep lowering it. Feel as intensely as possible.

    • Pause the movie to let your feelings get bigger.
    • Say "I feel (angry, sad, scared, glad) because __________," out loud to the different characters, for example, that they should say or do, or not say or not do certain things.
    • Rewind and replay scenes if they go by too quickly so you have time to feel and express everything you feel about it.
    • Twist a towel and yell to help stop your Numbness Bar from going back up. 
    • Pause the film and write down any patterns you notice in yourself, for example, if there is a strong emotion that could be the Doorway to an Emotional Healing Process for you.

    After the movie be still and silent while you feel its effects in you. You might want to arrange to have a Holding after the movie to nourish and reset your nervous system.


    After doing this Experiment, please enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.06 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.



    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.07

    If you are a woman, it will be a mother. Boy - father. Ask somebody from your possibility team to interview you and video record it about the specific and 5-body and nature and purpose behind the numbness of your mother or father that lived in your life so far. Numb about anything. The 1hour interview, in-depth, concise, fierce interview about your mother or father about their numbness.

    Their numbness in all 5 bodies.

    How was your father numb about his lack of connection to his own Destiny?

    How was your father numb to the aftereffects of his lifestyle on the planet?

    How was your father numb in the lack of aliveness in relationship to his wife?

    How was your father numb to how much his three sons for fighting each other to get negative attention?

    Video record the two people in the interview. Then you put it online as it is, and next experiment.


    After doing this Experiment, please enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.07 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

    5 Bodies Logo 300x300 framed by Anne-Chloe Destremau www.possibilitymanagment.org.jpg


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.08

    Use the discoveries from your parents' numbness. Make a prescription. Assume that you are doing the same thing that your parents are numb about. Write down a prescription specific to every condition that you got from your parents.

    Condition of the father being numb to the lack of aliveness in his relationship. Put him on a tropical island for three weeks with no distraction.

    There is a numbness healer doctor that will heal you from adopting the numbness from your parents.


    Enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.08 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

    Self Observation Logo 300x300 framed MCEscher www.possibilitymanagement.org.jpg


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.09

    Go somewhere where there are people in like a park, sit down and watch the scene in front of you while you're lowering your numbness bar. Notice what happens, when you bring it up, bring it down.

    After an hour, write down in your beep book what you notice.

    Find someone who wants to practice giving completion loops. Tell them what you learned about the consequences of having a high numbness bar and how you feel about that.

    Tell them to give you completion loops while you observe your numbness bar and consciously intend for it to go down further.


    After doing this Experiment, please enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.09 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

    Aquarian Conspiracy by Marilyn Ferguson, Logo by Possibility Management


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.10

    The Aquarian Conspiracy (BOOK0104.00) by Marilyn Ferguson.


    "We have no enemy except ourselves and the mess we’ve made individually and collectively by refusing to look at what we’re doing to our bodies, our minds, our society, and the earth itself. We’ve been seduced by the cult of numbers, caught in a web of mindless materialism, obsessed with competition, with winning and losing, afraid of anything that can’t be seen or measured, and in the grip of an economic model where only that which generates more money is worth pursuing.”


    Read this book, and then you can enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.10 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 3 Matrix Points.

    Become Time Logo 300x300 by AnneChloe Destremau www.possibilitymanagement.org.jpg


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.11

    Time machine numbness. Numbness time machine.

    For one week, at least 30 minutes of speeding up your speed as a way of increasing your numbness bar. Notice when you're putting your clothes on, you're not even with the experience of putting your clothes on and you're numb to it.

    During lunch, you're done all of a sudden and you don't remember what you ate.


    Half hour every way in little segemnts.

    In parallel, you slow down how quickly time passes. Eating an apple, instead of accomplishing, every single little bite you're smelling it and it's dripping, and it takes a long time to get through the apple. Slicing the onions, making ordering a pizza, do it duper fast or do it super slow, talk. "Is it busy tonight?"

    Use the itme machine to jump over things and slow things down.

    Notice the numbness from jumping and the unnumbness from slowing things down.


    After doing this Experiment, please enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.11 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

    Possibility_Team_Logo_300x300 framed by Anne-Chloe Destremau www.possibiitymanagement.org.jpg


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.12

    Time machine numbness. Do an experiment in your PTeam, groups of three. Cick your clicker and go back in time 50 years. Write down what people were numb to back then. What were they numb to, that now the whole culture has lowered their numbness bar to.

    Research what are we numb to, that in 50 years they will think it's insane that we were numb to this.


    Enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.12 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

    Your Being from 123rf 33461343 300x300 www.possibilitymanagement.org.jpg


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.13

    1st experiment: Being yourself. This is not being with yourself, because then you are splitting yourself to be with yourself. This is simply and profoundly being. Each day for the next two weeks, spend 15min with absolutely no distraction being each second more and more intensely being your own Being. Do not get distracted by thoughts, plans, pains, fantasy worlds, needs or discomforts. Simply increase your endurance with being your Being.


    After doing this Experiment, please enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.13 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

    Being With Logo 300x300 by AnneChloe Destremau www.StartOver.xyz.jpg


    Matrix Code NUMBNESS.14

    Each day for the next two weeks, spend 15min with absolutely no distraction with another Being, each second being more and more intensely being with each other's Being.


    Do not let yourself get distracted by thoughts, plans, pains, fantasy worlds, needs or discomforts. Simply increase your endurance with being with another Being.


    After doing this Experiment, please enter Matrix Code NUMBNESS.14 in your free account at StartOver.xyz.


    This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point.

  • NOTE: This website is a Bubble in the Bubble Map of the free-to-play, massively-multiplayer, online-and-offline, thoughtware-upgrade, matrix-building, personal-transformation, adventure-game called StartOver.xyz. It is a doorway to experiments that upgrade your thoughtware so you can relocate your point of origin and create more possibility. Your knowledge is what you think about. Your thoughtware is what you use to think with. When you change your thoughtware, you go through a liquid state as your mind reorganizes itself. Liquid states can bring up transformational feelings and emotions. By upgrading your thoughtware you build matrix to hold more consciousness and leave behind a low drama life of reactivity. No one can upgrade your thoughtware for you. More interestingly, no one can stop you from upgrading your thoughtware. Our theory is that when we collectively build 1,000,000 new Matrix Points we will change the morphogenetic field of the human race for the better. Please choose responsibly to read this website. Reading this whole website is worth 1 Matrix Point. Doing any of the experiments earns you additional Matrix Points. Please use Matrix Code NUMBNESS.00 to log your Matrix Point for reading this website on StartOver.xyz. Thank you for playing full out!